In my work, I spend a lot of time thinking about how people move from feeling stuck to feeling in control of their lives and careers. That lens is what drew me to Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success.
I first heard Dr. Shadé Zahrai on a podcast, speaking about self-trust in a framework that felt both structured and actionable. It wasn’t abstract. It was practical. That approach immediately caught my attention.
Self-trust is something I write about often, particularly through the lens of personal agency and autonomy. I was curious how her work might expand my perspective and become a resource I could share with clients. This book delivered on both.
What Stood Out
At the center of the book is the Four A’s Framework: Acceptance, Agency, Autonomy, and Adaptability. Together, these four attributes shape how we experience self-doubt and how we ultimately build self-trust.
One of the most powerful reframes is that self-doubt isn’t just about confidence. It’s rooted in how we see ourselves. That idea shifts the work from simply trying to “feel more confident” to understanding how we define ourselves.
Zahrai frames each attribute through a guiding question:
Acceptance: Am I enough?
Agency: Can I handle this?
Autonomy: Do my choices make a difference?
Adaptability: Can I manage my emotions?
As Zahrai explains, these aren’t fixed traits. They shift over time based on our environment, our experiences, and the season we are in. That awareness creates a level of objectivity. We can begin to see where we are strong and where we may need to focus during this season of life.
The book is also visual with illustrations throughout, which makes the ideas easier to absorb and revisit. And the tools provided are practical and actionable, not overwhelming.
My Perspective
This framework connects closely to how I think about personal systems and structure. I often talk about structure creating momentum. What I appreciate here is that Zahrai provides a structure for our intangible inner world.
Reading this, I found myself reflecting on how much of our experience is shaped internally. The narratives we carry, the labels we give ourselves, and the way we interpret our circumstances all influence how we show up. It’s a reminder that change doesn’t always start with external conditions. It often starts with how we see ourselves.
One idea that reinforced my own observations is the relationship between action and confidence. As Zahrai points out,
“Confidence isn’t a prerequisite for action; it’s a result of it.” – Dr. Shadé Zahrai
That shift moves us out of waiting and into doing.
This connects to the writing I’ve done on incrementality. With small steps, we begin to create something larger. In this case, we are building the belief in ourselves.
The connection between adaptability and emotions also challenged my thinking. I wouldn’t have initially defined adaptability in that way. But the idea of being grounded when life gets messy reframed it. The moments that require adaptation are often the most emotional. If we can manage those emotions, we can navigate the situation more effectively.
One quote that stayed with me comes from the closing:
“Don’t just do this for you. Let your growth ripple outward.” – Dr. Shadé Zahrai
It’s a reminder that this work isn’t just about personal improvement. It shows up in how we lead, how we connect, and how we contribute to others.
Who Should Read It
This book is valuable for a wide range of professionals, but especially for those who feel capable yet held back by their own inner voices.
If you’ve ever found yourself second-guessing, hesitating, or holding back despite knowing you’re ready, this book provides both language and tools to work through that.
You might skip it if you’re looking for purely tactical career strategies. This is deeper work. It’s about how you think, how you see yourself, and how you show up.
Final Thought
We all experience moments where confidence dips and self-doubt creeps in. This book provides a clear, structured way to understand those moments and move through them with intention.
Your Turn
Where do you feel strongest right now: Acceptance, Agency, Autonomy, or Adaptability?
What is one belief about yourself that might be limiting you?
What is one small action you could take today to build self-trust?