We’ve been building a career – no matter if we just graduated or are 20 years in.
We do our best each day.
Co-workers turn into deep friendships.
Work is an integral part of life.
Until it isn’t.
Layoffs have been happening everywhere on a very frequent basis this year.
We see it all around us, but often, deep down we don’t think we will be the ones impacted.
Until we are.
That’s when, as Bruce Feiler puts it, “we have a lifequake”.
A lifequake is a life transition that is so disruptive it destabilizes or disorients us.
Job loss makes the list of lifequake triggers.
Stages of a Lifequake
There are three stages that Bruce defines as we move through lifequakes:
- The Long Goodbye: We release and appropriately mourn what is not coming back.
- The Messy Middle: We shed habits and mindsets while creating new ones.
- The New Beginning: We unveil our new self by updating our story and telling other people.
He says they don’t have to occur in a linear order, but all three must happen.
My Perspective
We can sometimes think “I’m different.
The process won’t apply to me.”
I’ve been guilty of this and looking back realized…. I’m not different.
I have lost a job.
These stages happened.
Some were longer and some were shorter.
Most layoffs are tied to loss of a piece of business.
Or being in non-client funded roles.
Or shifts in company strategy to focus in a new area.
These things have NOTHING to do with those who are affected.
While our mind knows it wasn’t tied to our capabilities, it still drives an emotional rollercoaster.
When we have a lifequake, we need to give ourselves grace to spend time in the long goodbye.
We shouldn’t push feelings down while diving into the messy middle.
Take a breath, let the feelings come, and the messy middle will arrive on it’s own time.
Your Turn
Have you lost a job (recently or not so recently)?
Do these three stages make sense and the steps to make it through?
Depending on where you are in the Lifequake journey, does this help focus the stage you are in?