I’ve spent a lot of time struggling with the fact that personal development tends to fall into the category of “self-help”. Today, I did some research, dug under the surface, and came to some conclusions about the genre.
Rooted in HELP
The source of my challenge with the genre is the word “HELP”. This implies that there is a problem that needs to be solved. This is reinforced by the dictionary definition of self-help: “The actions or process of bettering oneself or overcoming one’s problems without the aid of others. The coping with one’s personal or emotional problems without professional help.”
I find these definitions deeply rooted in psychology, but not tied to positive psychology. My passion is to drive from good to great, not from problematic to average. How do we shift the genre of personal development from the negative 50% to the positive?
Possibly the category falls in the negative or positive camp depending on the mindset of the reader. Is the self-help intention grounded in self-preservation or self-actualization?
Grounded in Self-Preservation
The dictionary definition of self-preservation is “to protect oneself from destruction or harm”. A poor performance review, the loss of a job, consistent arguments with a loved one, and other life challenges could bring a person to the self-help genre to “fix” something about themselves to resolve those life challenges. In these cases, common approaches in the category will continue to reinforce this negative side of personal development. Definitions of some of the popular terms you see include:
- Self-discipline – Correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement
- Self-control – Restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.
- Self-regulation – The brining of oneself into a state of order, method, or uniformity
Grounded in Self-Actualization
On the flipside, the dictionary definition of self-actualization is “to realize one’s full potential”. Those who enter the self-help category with this aspiration are looking to achieve more in their lives – deepen expertise in their field, create more balance in their life, start a side business, or another positive change. In these cases, common approaches in the category lean to the positive and encouraging side of personal development. Definitions of some of the popular terms you see include:
- Self-Awareness – Conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
- Self-Compassion – The process of turning compassion inward
- Self-Improvement – Advancing of one’s knowledge, status, or character by one’s own efforts.
My Story
As I look at the two descriptions above, I have spent all my years consuming “self-help” on the self-actualizing side of the equation. I often joke with friends and colleagues that you can see my life history on my bookshelves. What I mean by that is that following the history of my non-fiction reading gives a glimpse into my personal development.
In my early career, the bookshelves were full of market research, trends, branding, and loyalty books. I learned so much about how to make connections between people and companies stronger. Then, as I became a leader, the shelves filled with books on leading and managing teams. You then see other phases – social media, digital marketing, coaching, photography, green living, and happiness.
What is interesting to me is that a set of personal development books don’t fall in the genre of self-help. If you are looking to improve something like marketing or leadership, those fall into the business genre. Why is it that topics like emotional intelligence, work-life balance, habit building, and time management are considered self-help and seen by some as “lesser” than the business books?
There are a few authors that have managed to be a bridge and their work shows up on both lists. These tend to be books grounded in goal setting, time management, and habits.
Your Turn
When you think about your personal development journey, have you been focused on self-preservation, self-actualization, or a mix of both depending on time and place?
Where is your focus now?
Where do you want it to be?