I recently read an article from Fast Company titled “Managers, You Can Support Your High Performers by Asking This Question Twice”. The article suggested that you repeat the question “how are you?” when people provide a short, canned answer like fine, good, or OK.
There were several ideas discussed and I would encourage you to read the article. However, here I would like to dive into the concept of asking the “how are you?” question twice.
My Perspective
The concept of asking how you are twice hit home. I thought about how many times I’ve answered this question with “fine, good, or OK” and how many times others have provided this response to me. The other realization was that none of those experiences included one person asking, “how are you?” twice.
I also thought about how people say that if your spouse says they are fine…. they are not. This got me thinking that the suggestion to ask the question twice is good in any situation, even outside of work.
The Fast Company article talks about the need for psychological safety (ability to speak freely without fear of negative consequences) as the foundation to have this type of conversation.
The person asking the question twice must provide that safe space. Be open to listening to the answer, resist the urge to “fix” the situation, and, most importantly, show compassion.
On the other side, the one who is “fine”, needs to be vulnerable and open to sharing how they are really feeling and direct in explaining the situation.
With both parties present and engaged in a positive conversation, positive progress is possible.
Your Turn
Have you given or received the “fine” response?
Did you ever dive deeper? If so, what happened?
Could this technique work for you in the future?