Losing a job is much more than just losing a source of income.
We lose our routine.
Our daily interactions with co-workers.
A piece of our identity.
Just like other significant losses, we can go on the emotional journey of grief.
Understanding the stages can help us navigate through challenges and find a path forward.
Stages of Grief
The framework for grief was led by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross.
There are five stages we go through that can be found in her book On Grief and Grieving.
Over time, her work has been expanded to include two additional stages.
Below are the seven stages of grief:
- Shock: This stage represents the initial paralysis or numbness that can occur immediately after the traumatic event of losing our job. Allow the feelings of shock and let the news sink in.
- Denial: Denial serves as a buffer, with thoughts like “this can’t be happening to me”. This period gives us time to process the reality of the situation without being overwhelmed by it.
- Anger: This is the stage where frustrations arise as reality begins to set in. We start to ask the question “why me?”. The anger can point to the company, a manager, coworkers, or even ourselves. We need to channel the anger into something productive – exercise, journal, talk to a friend, etc. It’s important not to make impulsive decisions and act out of anger.
- Bargaining: This stage involves trying to negotiate a way out of the situation, often by dwelling on “what if” scenarios. We think, “If only I had done this differently…”. This stage helps us regain some sense of control even if it’s focused on the past. This can be helpful, but we can’t get stuck here. We need to shift the focus to what we can control moving forward.
- Depression: A stage characterized by sadness, hopelessness, and withdrawal as the full impact of the loss becomes apparent. We ask ourselves “What’s the point?”. We likely have low energy and lack motivation. We can feel overwhelmed by the uncertainty and need to know when we might need to seek professional support.
- Testing: In this stage, we may experiment with new ways to deal with the situation. This might involve seeking new job opportunities, developing new skills, or exploring different career paths.
- Acceptance: The final stage, where we come to terms with the loss and begin to focus on moving forward. We start to think “I’ll be okay.” This doesn’t mean we will be happy we lost our job, but we have come to terms with it and can shift to focus on new opportunities.
Summary
Grief is a highly individualized process.
Not everyone will step through these stages at the same pace.
The process is also not linear – we circle and weave around many of the emotions simultaneously, go back and forth, and skip stages.
There is no “right” way to move through.
Just keep moving and you will make it through the long goodbye.
Your Turn
Which of these emotions are you currently feeling?
Do you feel yourself moving back and forth between several of them?
Who are your people to go to when you need to talk it out?