We take deep pride in our work.
We put our all into the projects we take on and stive to make the work the best it can be.
Yet, it’s inevitable that through our career negative reactions and feedback will occur.
Work we think is good will get a harsh critique or be rejected completely.
We miss a deadline even though we did everything we could to meet the timing.
A product gets delivered to customers with an error that we missed.
All these things can hurt deeply and feel very personal.
Thoughts like “I’m no good” start running through our heads.
My Story – Emotional Distance
There is no perfect career story. Everyone has their moments of failure. Some failures are smaller than others, but they all feel big when they happen.
I have spent many nights ruminating about something that went wrong or work I did that didn’t connect with others. I have been known to beat myself up with “what I should have done”.
I have also showed emotion on the spot – been close to tears, voice quivering. The emotions are real.
One day about 10 years ago, I got the coaching advice that shifted my perspective.
Someone told me that I needed to separate myself from my work. They went on to explain that when there is criticism or a challenge with the work, the feedback is on the work and not on me.
This changed everything.
While I’m still passionate about the work I do and strive to make it great, I also realize that rejections, critiques, and errors are just part of the process.
Perfect isn’t possible. Look at the work independent from you.
Fix errors. Listen to the critiques. Accept the rejections.
I’ve heard that some people strive for rejections at least once a day just to get used to the experience. I would encourage any strategy to grow the muscle of what to do when things go wrong!
Your Turn
Have you gotten emotional at work over a critique, error, or missed deadline?
Do you think separating yourself from the work could be a good strategy to employ?
Is there something you can do today to experience rejection and get used to the experience?