When You Feel Yourself Changing, What Comes Next?
It can start subtly. Our title doesn’t quite fit.
The goals we once chased don’t excite us anymore.
We feel a shift, but we can’t quite name it.
Or the shift can hit like a brick wall.
A life quake… job loss, death, divorce.
Either way, we are headed into a transition when the self we’ve known no longer fits.
My Story
I’ve experienced both types of identity pivots.
The ones that have come abruptly without my choosing and the ones that creeped in slowly.
Both are challenging and unsettling in their own way.
And they require some of the same inner work.
The discovery and adoption of a new, and different, identity.
The Process
Shifting our identity comes with a lot of discomfort.
We had plans and goals, but they no longer fit.
There is a gap between external perceptions of who we are and our inner realities.
Staying put or going back to the old identity is tempting.
Yet, often going back isn’t an option.
For those willing to stick through the messy middle, the other side is worth it.
Along the way, we need to remind ourselves that it’s a sign of growth.
A movement toward a life with more meaning.
Some Exercises to Consider
As we move through the process, these tools can help:
- Pause before reacting. Instead, journal, walk, and listen to our inner voice.
- Curate new inputs (books, podcasts, people) that resonate with our new direction.
- Experiment with small actions (change our LinkedIn headline, wear something different, try a new creative outlet).
- Name the new identity that is emerging, giving it a working title.
We don’t need to have the next version figured out.
We just need to listen closely enough to know the old one is ready to be released.
Your Turn
What part of your identity feels tight or outdated?
What are you being drawn toward?
What are you afraid you’ll lose in this pivot?